And I don’t mean through post offices.

I’m just venting here because I’m annoyed. Maybe I woke up on the wrong-side-of-the-bed, I don’t know but what I do know is that Royal Mail’s idea of customer service has royally pissed me off. It really does not do justice to the wonderful people who deliver mail or those who work in post office branches up and down the country.

I’ve just spent over an hour of my time trying to track a parcel that was posted a few weeks ago but which was returned to a sorting office (or delivery center).

One hour!

A lesser man might have given up but I have an old fashioned stiff upper lip and a lot of resolve when I have a gripe to deal with:

  • I tried Royal Mail’s automated telephone tracking service on 0845 27 2100
  • I tried Royal Mail’s customer service number on 08457 74 0740, and
  • I tried Royal Mail’s website (

The automated tracking service couldn’t understand my very clear, very well spoken English accent.

I know my verbal language is good, clear and well enunciated because most non-native English speakers understand me incredibly well due to its clarity and when I worked in call centers many years ago I was constantly chatted up by single mothers and lonely housewives whom loved my voice.

RM’s automated customer service bot made my face redder and redder every time it told me about RM’s website with every press of my phone’s keypad. Maybe it liked the sound of my voice too.

After several attempts to speak with a human I discovered options 3, 3 and 2 which eventually took me through to a live person (I use the term “live” very loosely here).

My two calls to options 3, 3 and 2 were answered within 60 seconds of RM’s stock warning about high call volumes increasing call waiting times – twice! Ever get the feeling you’re not valued once your money has left your hands?

The first call handler killed the call after letting me listen to a few minutes of office chatter. The second handler put me back into the automated services loop after I expressed my complete dislike for it and its unsuitability for my particular needs. I used a lot of expletives after hanging up the phone.

And Royal Mail’s website!

It’s a template for pissing off customers. RM should patent it.

Locating a customer service email, contact form or proper customer service phone number is like trying to find light in a black hole. It rips you to shreds before you get to it.

Oh, a contact button is there alright but it leads – yes, you guessed it – back to RM’s automated phone service numbers.

I’m not the only person to suffer

Have a look at RM’s reply to a Freedom of Information Request sent by asking for RM’s customer contact email addresses. RM eventually replied to it but then changed their contact details!

Anyhow, I’ve found an online method of contacting Royal Mail mwhahahahaaa!!!!

Royal Mail’s website has an Accessibility Feedback form. The link is:


They also have a form for arranging parcel and letter redelivery:


I’ve not made those links clickable because I want to give RM no inbound link juice from JournalXtra.

An email address is listed with its domain’s whois registration data. That email address is:

  • domains [a.t]

A contact telephone number is also associated with that email address:

  • 44.2074414799

Neither the email address nor phone number has been tested by me. I suspect they will lead to someone but whether (s)he will be able to assist you is another question altogether. Were I to send a message there I would threaten the recipient with an automated email spamming system that would send emails to every possible combination of letters, numbers and characters up to 8 characters long unless my message were forwarded to the correct department and a reply received from that department within 48 hours, lol.

Moral of the Story

The next time someone sends you a parcel or letter, get the sender to put a return address on the back.

Incidentally, I have heard a rumor that it’s possible to get mail delivered for free. Miss the recipient’s address off the front of the letter (or make it completely illegible) then put the recipient’s address on the back of the envelope as though it’s the sender’s return address. I’ve not tried it but I expect it will work.

I hope this information proves useful to someone because it’s just cost me another hour to write it!

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