The Scream by Edvard Munch, 1893

The Scream by Edvard Munch

Today I received a message from a friend about a friend who today had the news she had been wishing not to hear: her unborn twins are stillborn

This is a double tragedy for her: She only discovered during these last few days that she was carrying twins. Up until last week she thought she was pregnant with one child. Now she knows they are both stillborn.

I always feel helpless when emotional torments like this happen. Makes me want to reach inside the people affected and take their hurt away. We can’t and if we could we would be robbing the affected of their grief and those experiences that give us our humanity.

Strange word, humanity. Bears many different meanings. We all understand it slightly differently and context defines both the intended and the interpreted meaning of the word. I intend the word humanity to mean all those affections we have for love, for understanding, for compassion, for sentiment, for caring, for cherishing and for remembering.

To me, humanity is not the sole domain of man and woman but also a universal part of all life. Something we are born with yet must develop and refine through the contrasting emotional experiences of loss and gain, of joy and sadness, of restriction and freedom, of health and frailty, of strength and vulnerability, of birth and death.

We could add more experiences to the list. The meaning would be the same: the contrasting emotions life brings to us help us to develop into who we are and to grow into who we are born to become.

When we hide from life we cannot grow. For our own species, we do not become full human beings without opening ourselves up to receive the lessons Mother Nature & God want us to learn.

Miscarriages happen every day to many expectant parents and families. The experience is often traumatic and affects all immediate family members.

I dislike the word miscarriage. It hints that someone is to blame for the loss. Losing an unborn child is not usually anyone’s fault: it happens as an act of nature or through inexperience. No one is to blame for nature doing as nature does.

These words may never be read by my friend or her family. I write this blog semi anonymously. I do not hide this blog from those who know me; nor do I broadcast that I write it. Even so, to my friend, her family and to others who are today coming to terms with miscarriage and the grief miscarriage brings, I send my deepest condolences.

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